Before Conception, We Experience Omnipresence and Omnipotence, Knowing We Are Particles of Divinity. In the Womb, We Sense a Euphoric Symbiosis with the Divine
Divinity “Contracted Himself”
This is the actual coming into form of sperm and egg from undifferentiated reality and infinite potentiality; experientially, the self has “contracted.”
It is also the first “split”—the first creation of something Other than One-Self.
So what I’m proposing about the experiences surrounding conception, I contend, is a better analogue to the mythological Kabbalist depiction of Tzimtzum, contraction, and the thin pipe from Infinity, than is Shoham’s interpretation of it as the umbilical cord and nourishment from the mother.
The Scattering of the Divine Sparks
Further support for this move in placing these interpretations farther back in time, to that of conception, is given by considering the Kabbalic mythical depiction of the breaking of the vessels and the scattering of the divine sparks. Shoham (1990) tells us,
The myth of the breaking of the vessels relates to the birth-giving mother and the ejection from the womb, whereas the myth of the scattering of the divine sparks, which in Lurianic Kabbala occurs as a result, relates more directly to the neonate himself. The newborn child feels himself to be a precious particle of Divinity, omnipresent and hence omnipotent, because at this stage of his life he cannot be aware of anything or anybody except himself. (p. 36)
In this way Shoham relates a myth of vessels breaking and a related myth of a scattering of divine sparks to the time of birth and the actual delivery. Contrary to what Shoham believes, I think the scattering of the divine sparks is a much more accurate depiction of what we might call “the scattering of the sperm.” For it is always sperm that need to get scattered, widely disseminated, because they do not all survive. Fish fertilization, for example, involves male sperm being scattered over the top of the eggs.
Furthermore, “The newborn child feels himself to be a precious particle of Divinity” (p. 36). Regardless of the truth of that, more obviously we re-create the universe coming into form in the spewing out into form in an ejaculation: There are these hundreds of millions of “sparks” that go out from the father and each one of them is a precious particle of divinity in that each one could create the child.
Shoham adds, “Omnipresent and hence omnipotent because at this stage of life he cannot be aware of anything or anybody except himself.” Once again, this does not fit with the later time of birth but with conception. For, as we see most clearly further on, at the time of birth and prior to it, the fetus is actually distinctly aware of an Other—distressingly and confrontationally so. Whereas around the time of conception there is that quality of omnipresence and omnipotence (more so at some times than others).
One has created form in the creation of sperm and egg, but one is only slightly removed from godhead; one still thinks oneself to be part of Everything.
Divine Symbiosis
It is not until one gets farther along in the gestation process that one feels oneself to be truly distinct or is truly aware of the separation that has occurred. This happens with the encounter with the uterine wall during the latter stages of pregnancy. And yet Shoham, in referring to this time of breaking of vessels and scattering of sparks, uses the terms the “theurgic conception” of the Kabbala. He means this in a way much different than biological conception, yet I feel he may unconsciously have revealed the more accurate interpretation. It is interesting how the unconscious will lead us along, manipulating us to reveal the hidden truths, even in the very words that come to mind and despite our conscious intention in their use.
Further support for this interpretation occurs in his use of words after “theurgic conception,” where he is overtly describing events occurring after birth. He writes, ” . . . sees every human act as having an immediate effect on Divinity. This makes for a symbiosis between God and man.” Once again, I believe he has covertly revealed the correct interpretation—in his use of the word symbiosis especially—that this is the time after conception, not after birth. During the intrauterine, post-conception time, there is exactly that quality of closeness to the Divinity. During this “BPM I” time, we have this dialectic going: this flow-in, flow-out between us and the universe, which is reflected physically (biologically) in the flow-in, flow-out between us and the mother through the umbilical cord.
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Sperm Journey: From Father to Womb
Inside Testes
Ejaculation: Phoenix Rises from “Ashes”
Sperm Journey: “Immortal” Dragon Deity.
Feeling of Omnipotence. And Carries Some Personality and “Skandhas” of Mostly Negative, Some Positive, Karma from Previous Life/Lives
Sperm Journey: “Scattering of Divine Sparks” … The “Brotherhood” of the Sperm
The Egg’s Perspective of Sperm and the “Magical” Womb
Sperm Journey End: Sperm Head Explodes and DNA “Package” Delivered
Early Womb Life
Continue with Mythology Supports What We Have Learned Experientially — The Release of Sperm and Egg Is the First Removal from Divinity: The Breaking of the Vessels and the First Separation
Return to In the Beginning, the “Thin Pipe From Infinity” … “Emanated Light Into the World”: We Begin with “Contraction” … Biological and Spiritual … How We Tell Ourselves That in Myth
To Read the Entire Book … free, on-line … of which this is an excerpt, Go to Falls from Grace
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